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Transcript
This page is a transcription of F.A.B. (Century 21)

[The story opens with Lady Penelope and Parker singing a song.]

"In the frozen Himalayas, in the land of mountaineers
All the local folk are frightened with the strangest kind of fears.
Though it may be just a rumour, it's been talked about for years,
The Abominable Snowman.
Enormous footprints in the snow they say they can't define.
They've heard some ghostly rumblings and a horrifying whine.
A story guaranteed to send a shiver down your spine,
The Abominable Snowman.
He prowls, he growls, and the tracks he leaves behind him are stupendous.
He groans, he moans, from the sound he must be something quite tremendous.
It may be just a hoax. It may be true, it may be not.
But if you should bump into him, he'll fix you on the spot.
He'll take one frozen look at you, and that will be your lot.
The Abominable Snowman."

Abominable Snowman: "Snarl!"

Local: "No! No!"

Abominable Snowman: "Snarl!"

Local: "No! No! No!"

Abominable Snowman: "Growl."

Jeff Tracy: "Ah, that's John, from the Space Satellite. Come in, John."

John Tracy: "Dad, I know you've been kind of skeptical about this so-called Abominable Snowman, but these alarm calls from the Everest area are still coming through. Three more people have disappeared in the last two weeks. Don't you think it's time for a little action?"

Jeff Tracy: "I know you're worried about this, John, but as you know, Thunderbirds only answer direct calls for help when there is definite evidence that lives are in danger. These Abominable Snowman stories have been going round for years. Leave it with me, John. I'll see what I can do."

John Tracy: "OK, dad. I'll let you know if I hear any more news. Over and out."

Scott Tracy: "Say, dad, Penny's over in Delhi right now, what say we give her a call, and ask her to investigate?"

Jeff Tracy: "Good idea, Scott. This should be just Penny's cup of tea. Tin-Tin, bring me our agents file for that area, will you? Then I'll call Penny."

Lady Penelope: "Well, I must say, Parker, it was a good idea of yours to bring FAB 1 along. So much more convenient."

Parker: "Yes, m'lady. The air-conditioning is working a treat, don't you think?"

Lady Penelope: "In this heat, it's a jolly good thing that it is. Oh, my compact. Must be the Emergency Call. Lady Penelope here. Oh, hello Jeff."

Jeff Tracy: "Hi, Penny. You may think this kinda strange, but we've been getting reports from the Everest area about this so-called Abominable Snowman which seems to be terrorizing the local people."

Lady Penelope: "Do go on, Jeff. I'm intrigued!"

Jeff Tracy: "I thought maybe you could go up and do a little investigating."

Lady Penelope: "But of course, Jeff. I'd adore to go up to the mountains. I missed winter sports this year, and I'd love to see a snowman... abominable or otherwise."

Jeff Tracy: "You may think I'm kidding, Penny, but you take care. This could be serious. Now, our local agent for that area is Gallup Din, and you can contact him in the village of Borapore."

Lady Penelope: "F.A.B., Jeff. Agent Gallup Din at Borapore. Right, I'm on the scent, so to speak."

Gallup Din: "Oh, Lady Penelope! It is with an exaggerated sense of pleasure that I am welcoming you to Borapore."

Lady Penelope: "Oh, tha-...."

Gallup Din: "The legendary tales of your manifold exploits have proceeded you post-haste, and I...."

Lady Penelope: "Erm, quite, quite, Mr Gallup. I mean, Mr Din. Your little plan to have our secret meeting in this tonga was quite ingenious. Such a pleasant way of traveling, a tonga."

Parker: "Tonga, eh? I wouldn't mind if the horse I was steering was a thoroughbred, but for a high-class chauffeur like me, with millions of luxury motoring miles under me belt, driving a dead-beat old nag like this is a bit of a liberty. Coowah! Giddyup! Giddyup!"

Lady Penelope: "Now, Mr Din, this Abominable Snowman. What evidence is there that it has been seen in the area?"

Gallup Din: "Oh, my dear high-born, titled English Lady! The evidence is underwhelming. Clues abound in every crook and nanny. Footprints, footprints of a huge circumference can be observed at the scene of every felony."

Lady Penelope: "I see, I see. Well, I should like to go to the scene of the crime, and observe these er footprints for myself. Now, about a guide...."

Gallup Din: "This I have already arranged with very sudden alacrity. Unfortunately, due to the very potent curse of the Abominable Snowman, none of the local people would dare to act in this respect. But with the resilience born of experience, I have contacted a well-known Asiatic explorer who has worked in the area for many Indian summers."

Lady Penelope: "And he has agreed to act as guide. Excellent, excellent."

Gallup Din: "Hah-hah! The gratification I feel at your remarks is overflowing."

Parker: "Whoo! Back! Whoa!"

Gallup Din: "Dear friend, we must part. Our destination has arrived. There is the skicopter, and the guide to transport you. And I advise you very strongly to change now into your warmest clothing! For not only is it very cold, but most biting of all is the wind."

The Hood: "This is our destination. I suggest we begin our search here, madam."

Lady Penelope: "Out you go, Parker."

Parker: "Right, m'lady. Let me help you down. Careful, m'lady. It's as hard as ice out here."

Lady Penelope: "Oh! Oh it's my, my ankle! I'm afraid I've twisted it."

The Hood: "How unfortunate, Lady Penelope."

Lady Penelope: "Oh, unfortunate indeed. Oh what on Earth can we do now?"

The Hood: "May I suggest that I take your servant to see the footsteps of the Abominable Snowman, while you rest in the passenger compartment of the skicopter?"

Lady Penelope: "Oh... I'm afraid I have no choice. I'm sure you'll be amenable to our guide's suggestion, won't you, Parker?"

Parker: "Certainly, m'lady. I'll have this Diabolical Snowman caper sorted out before you can say FAB 1."

The Hood: "If your servant is ready, Lady Penelope, we will proceed."

Parker: "The name is Parker, if you don't mind!"

Lady Penelope: "Thank you, and good hunting to you both."

Parker: "Here, mate.... Here, here what is this? Some sort of ice cave? What are we doing in here?"

The Hood: "Strange things happen in this part of the world. For example, have you noticed that large steel door over there? Strange, is it not? A steel door in an ice cave?"

Parker: "You can say that again, mate."

The Hood: "The door opens. Shall we go in?"

Parker: "Here, what's all this? Where did all these blokes come from? And what's all this drilling and shoveling lark?"

The Hood: "Quiet, you fool!"

Parker: "Hey, what's the gun for? What's your game down here then?"

The Hood: "My game, you fool, is that I am the Abominable Snowman. Have you no imagination!? I have lured you here like all the others. And now you are my slave, like them. You too will dig, and add to this ever-growing pile of priceless uranium. And I will become the richest man in the world!"

Parker: "You might not be the snowman, but you're certainly abominable!"

The Hood: "Silence, you fool! I am in no mood for your insolence. I have a painful way of dealing with people like you, as you will learn when I return. But first, to deal with that meddlesome Lady Penelope. I have something special in mind for her. Do not get clever ideas, fool. When this door closes, there is no means of escape."

Parker: "Cor, this is a right shambles. I'd better get on the blower to Lady P. Now, where's me stuff-box...? Ah, here we are. This is Parker calling Lady Penelope. Come in, please, Lady Penelope."

Lady Penelope: "Yes, Parker, what on earth the matter? Why the emergency call?"

Parker: "We're in dead trouble, m'lady. Our guide's turned out to be a bit of a villain, playing a double role. Not only is he our guide, but so he tells me, the Abominable Snowman too. I'm trapped in this here cave, you're lumbered up there with a sprained ankle, and he's on his way to sort you out."

Lady Penelope: "Oh dear, how inconvenient. I'd better get on to Jeff right away. Now, leave everything to me, Parker, and don't worry. Over and out."

Jeff Tracy: "Ah, that's Penny. She's probably got some news on the Abominable Snowman situation."

Lady Penelope: "Jeff, Penny here. We've nearly solved the riddle of the Abominable Snowman, but in the process, we've landed in a spot of bother. I'm afraid we need your urgent assistance."

Jeff Tracy: "Sure thing, Penny. OK, on your way, Scott."

Scott Tracy: "Right, dad."

Jeff Tracy: "Can you give us your position, Penny?"

Lady Penelope: "Yes, Jeff. International Map Reference 421X 037."

Jeff Tracy: "Right, got it. Now you just hold on as best you can. Scott will be with you in about 55 minutes."

Scott Tracy: "Scott from Thunderbird 1. Ready for liftoff."

Jeff Tracy: "Right. Lift off, Scott!"

Scott Tracy: "Changing to horizontal flight."

Jeff Tracy: "Base to Thunderbird 1. Penny's position is Reference 421X 037."

Scott Tracy: "F.A.B. dad. Speed 7.5 thousand miles per hour, ETA 1805 local time."

Lady Penelope: "Oh! Oh, this wretched ankle. This is such an awkward moment to be immobilized. I do hope Scott arrives before it's too late. Oh, you're back. Er, where's Parker?"

The Hood: "I'm afraid, madam, I have some distressing news for you. When we were crossing a crevasse, your servant slipped, the rope holding us together snapped, and he plunged into the bowels of the earth."

Lady Penelope: "Do go on."

The Hood: "All, all my Herculean efforts to rescue him were of no avail, and I fear he has gone to an icy and eternal grave."

Lady Penelope: "Your dramatic little piece of acting was almost convincing, except for one thing."

The Hood: "What do you mean!?"

Lady Penelope: "Let me enlighten you. You have tried to convince me that Parker has fallen down a crevasse to his doom, but I know that, although he has fallen into a trap, he is at this moment very much alive. You, sir, are a blaggard."

Scott Tracy: "Thunderbird 1 to Base."

Jeff Tracy: "Come in, Scott. What's your problem?"

Scott Tracy: "Er no problem, dad. Just checking to see if there's any change in the situation."

Jeff Tracy: "No change. Just make it as snappy as you can. Penny is pretty smart at talking herself out of tight spots, but we don't her to have to say too much."

The Hood: "You talk too much! You are completely overwrought. I insist you lie down and rest until this brainstorm is over."

Lady Penelope: "I will certainly not lie down. Abominable Snowman indeed! I suspected from the first there was some sort of plot behind this. Why else do you think I agreed to investigate it?"

The Hood: "May I suggest to convince you beyond all doubt of my devotion to your welfare, that we fly over the crevasse where Parker met his untimely end?"

Lady Penelope: "And if you haven't disposed of me by then, I suppose we'll go on to have tea with the Abominable Snowman himself. No, my friend. We are not as stupid as you would suppose. And furthermore, I have called International Rescue. They are already on their way."

The Hood: "So, you have tried to outwit me! Very clever."

Lady Penelope: "Keep your hands where they are. I have you covered."

The Hood: "Not quite, Lady Penelope, not quite. I shouldn't try that again. Now, we're going on a little trip."

Scott Tracy: "I've arrived at danger zone, but apart from some skicopter marks in the snow, there's no sign of them."

Jeff Tracy: "Now look, Scott. We must find Penny before she comes to any harm. Now this is what you do."

The Hood: "Now, Lady Penelope, how do you like my little torture chamber. Every modern device."

Lady Penelope: "You won't get away with this. Your kind never do."

The Hood: "There is no need to lose your temper. You're a little uncomfortable perhaps. Are those straps too tight?"

Lady Penelope: "I may be a mere woman, but don't underestimate me."

The Hood: "And don't underestimate me, Lady Penelope! This little piece of machinery here will perhaps persuade you to treat me with more respect. Let me demonstrate it to you. You see that solid steel girder over there? Watch."

The Hood: "Straight through. I'm sure you'll agree, most efficient."

Lady Penelope: "Most efficient. Clearly, you're not going to all this trouble for nothing. What do you want?"

The Hood: "Not so fast, Lady Penelope. Now, if I aim the laser-beam towards you, all I have to do is keep my finger pressed on this button, and the beam will slice through the metal girder that you are strapped to on the same height as that swan-leg neck of yours. But, to avoid starting this unpleasant experiment, all you have to do is give me information about the codes used by International Rescue for their secret messages. Don't be surprised, Lady Penelope! I know that you are their London agent."

Lady Penelope: "Wherever you got your information, I can assure you it's quite false."

The Hood: "Oh, come, madam! Perhaps this will stimulate your memory. I will move the beam slowly. Now will you tell me their secret?"

Scott Tracy: "Thunderbird 1 to Base. Tell Brains the new metal detector works great! I've located the skicopter, and I'm going in to land."

Jeff Tracy: "F.A.B., Scott."

The Hood: "Speak now, Lady Penelope, or you will never speak again! The beam is only six inches from your neck. You struggle in vain. The beam unfortunately generates a great heat. It can be rather painful before you actually lose consciousness. Only three inches to go."

Lady Penelope: "You, you, you're wasting your time. I know nothing."

The Hood: "All right! You asked for it!"

Lady Penelope: "Ah...! Oh...! Ah...!"

Scott Tracy: "OK, you've got three seconds to switch off that beam!"

Lady Penelope: "Look out, Scott."

Lady Penelope: "Scott! Switch off the beam!"

Scott Tracy: "Where's the master switch?"

Lady Penelope: "Scott, quickly!"

Scott Tracy: "Hold tight, Penelope!"

Scott Tracy: "Penelope, are you OK?"

Lady Penelope: "OK, Scott."

Parker: "Oh I er, I hope you haven't been too incommoded, m'lady."

Lady Penelope: "Parker!"

Parker: "Oh. Looks like I've arrived too late."

Lady Penelope: "Heavens, how did you get here? Oh dear, this is all so confusing. Er, Scott, is he dead?"

Scott Tracy: "I only used my tranquilizer gun. He'll have a nice quiet siesta till the Airborne Police arrive. Now, come on, let's get you out of here."

Lady Penelope: "Oh, oh what a relief! And how splendid to see you back, Parker. How on earth did you escape?"

Parker: "I don't want to blow my own hooter, m'lady, but getting out of that nick was a pushover. And knowing how that right villain was going to sort you out, I had to take drastic action."

Lady Penelope: "How resourceful of you, Parker. And how clever of you to find us, Scott. How ever did you do it?"

Scott Tracy: "Brains' new metal detector. It can pick up a metal object from a height of a thousand feet. And that skicopter is all metal."

Lady Penelope: "Brilliant, quite brilliant. Now, what about all those other poor people in that cave Parker escaped from. What can we do about them?"

Scott Tracy: "Well they'll be taken care of when the police arrive. And when our friend here wakes up, I don't think he'll be in any condition to take on International Rescue again for quite a while."

Lady Penelope: "Don't you think we ought to contact Jeff now, Scott? I'm sure he's waiting anxiously for news."

Scott Tracy: "Sure thing, Lady Penelope."

Jeff Tracy: "That's the call we've been waiting for. Go ahead, Scott."

Lady Penelope: "Oh, Jeff. Penny here. You'll be glad to know our little investigation has resolved itself satisfactorily. What started off as a lighthearted adventure turned into something quite nasty."

Scott Tracy: "Yes, dad, it's a long story. One we'll enjoy telling you when we get back."

Jeff Tracy: "Right, Scott. Bring Penelope and Parker back and you can tell me the whole story then. Grandma'l have a nice meal waiting for you."

Lady Penelope: "What an absolutely super idea, Jeff. As far as I'm concerned, the legend of the Abominable Snowman can be buried for ever."

Jeff Tracy: "F.A.B."


THE END
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