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Transcript
This page is a transcription of Alias Mr. Hackenbacker (Century 21)

Scott Tracy: ""At an interview today at London International Airport, no-one was giving away anything, but rumor in aviation circles has it that the Skythrust has some revolutionary new features. But Hiram K. Hackenbacker, the brilliant American designer and well-known man of mystery, would give no information about the aircraft he has played a large part in designing"."

Virgil Tracy: "Does it say when Skythrust goes into service?"

Jeff Tracy: "Well, it must be any day now, that's why Brains is staying on in Europe."

Scott Tracy: "It says "Very soon, it is expected that the first flight will be London-bound from Paris"."

Tin-Tin: "Speaking of Paris, look!"

Jeff Tracy: "What's it all about, Tin-Tin?"

Tin-Tin: "Well, there's a whole feature about Penelope."

Gordon Tracy: "Everyone's in the news this week."

Tin-Tin: ""Excitement in the Paris fashion world mounted today. Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward, the internationally known English beauty, announced she might participate in a charity fashion show presented by François Lemaire for their forthcoming season. It is understood that Lemaire has something really sensational to offer this year". Oh, I wonder what it will be!"

Narrator (Brains): "Hello there. Brains speaking – or should I say Hiram K. Hackenbacker, for that's the name I used on this occasion. I was in London for talks on the Skythrust. But I was quite unaware of the drama that was building up in Paris involving Lady Penlelope."

Lady Penelope: "As soon as I received your telegram, François, I got Parker to make reservations on the first available flight."

François Lemaire: "So, you will do this great favour for me, dear Penelope? You will model for me at the premiere?"

Lady Penelope: "François, I'd adore to. And you know I'm always ready to help a good cause. Now, what wonderful surprises have you got in store for us this season?"

François Lemaire: "Penelope, I promise you, my creations will go down in history. Some of my rivals would give, how you say? their eyeteeth to know my secret. I have discovered...."

Lady Penelope: "Wait! Wait, François."

François Lemaire: "What is it, Penelope?"

Lady Penelope: "One can never be too careful. Look."

Narrator: "Penelope knew that Francois discovery must be very important. And it didn't really surprise her when she found a miniature transmitter among the flowers on the table."

Lady Penelope: "All right, François. Go ahead."

François Lemaire: "Good. Well, just in case it is not safe, I shall write it down. I shall commit my great secret to paper. Let me see...."

Narrator: "But Penelope was now on her guard. The pen that Francois was using aroused her suspicion. Suddenly, she stopped him."

Lady Penelope: "François, stop! Please show me that pen that is what is known as an impressor pen, which can record and transmit anything that the writer commits to paper."

François Lemaire: "You mean...?"

Lady Penelope: "Yes, at this very moment, that pen is sending a message to your enemies."

François Lemaire: "Oh, Penelope! This is too much! Bugs in the flowers, pens that send messages. Oh, I need reviving."

Madeline: "Yes, monsieur? Can I help you?"

François Lemaire: "Yes, my sweet, would you let us have some tea?"

Madeline: "Certainly. I shall bring it in myself."

François Lemaire: "And Deirdre..."

Deirdre: "Yes, sir?"

François Lemaire: "Would you stand by to model the new items that arrived from Au Claire this morning.?"

Deirdre: "Of course, Mr Lemaire."

François Lemaire: "Thank you. These are my two leading models, Madeline and Deirdre. They will be assisting you in the show."

Lady Penelope: "And they know your secret?"

François Lemaire: "Indeed, they do. And this, at last, my dear Penelope, is my secret."

Lady Penelope: "My dear François."

François Lemaire: "Watch carefully."

Narrator: "From a carton not much bigger than a matchbox, Francois began pulling the corner of a brightly colored fabric. Until he held in his hands a complete dress."

François Lemaire: "Voilà!"

Lady Penelope: "François, how wonderful!"

François Lemaire: "This is my new fibre! Penelon! I, I named it after you, Penelope. I hope you don't mind."

Lady Penelope: "Mind?! François, this is a revolution!"

François Lemaire: "Penelon can be made into any kind of costume desired. It never gets crushed and it can squeeze up into the smallest space. Its possibilities are immense, as you will appreciate!"

Lady Penelope: "How marvelous!"

François Lemaire: "Here are some other designs in the collection, all made of Penelon."

Lady Penelope: "Ah, tea. How civilised."

Madeline: "Do you take sugar, Lady Penelope?"

Lady Penelope: "Well, er... one lump wouldn't do any harm, I suppose."

François Lemaire: "Alas, Penelope, I'm at the end of my wits. Surrounded on all sides by enemies. What am I to do?"

Lady Penelope: "The arrangements for the preview must be changed. We dare not hold it in your salon. The risk is too great."

François Lemaire: "But where do you suggest? The top of the Eiffel Tower?!"

Lady Penelope: "That would at least be safer. Now, let's see. There must be somewhere there's no danger of interruption. Got it! I know just the place. But, first of all, I shall have to contact a friend."


Narrator: "Penelope's idea was brilliant! She knew about the first flight of Skythrust and she also knew Ashton. The senior pilot of the airline who was to fly the plane on this first trip from Paris to London. If only they could hold the preview on board her while she was airborne. It seemed the ideal solution. But first she had to talk to Ashton about it"

Captain Ashton: "But Lady Penelope, you haven't explained how you came to know Hiram Hackenbacker?"

Lady Penelope: "Mr Ashton, you must allow a lady a few secrets. Let me just say that he and I are associates."

Captain Ashton: "Well, Hiram's quite a dark horse. Boy, what brains that fellow has!"

Lady Penelope: "Brains?! Oh, yes, he's got a lot of talent all right. Now, about this scheme of mine."

Captain Ashton: "Well, it seems a lot of trouble to go to, just for a fashion show."

Lady Penelope: "Now, isn't that just like a man. Ah, here's coffee."

Waiter: "Will that be all, monsieur?"

Captain Ashton: "Yes, thank you."

Narrator: "As the waiter moved away, Penelope's compact signal began to operate."

Lady Penelope: "What is it, Parker?"

Parker: "I'm getting a reading, m'lady. There's another of them transmitters bugging you. It's just started to register."

Lady Penelope: "The coffeepot, it must be the coffeepot."

Narrator: "Sure enough in the lid of the Coffee pot, was another of those listening devises, which she immediately put out of action."

Captain Ashton: "Penelope, l-I don't understand."

Lady Penelope: "The waiter planted it to overhear our conversation. Now do you see how important this fashion show is?"

Captain Ashton: "Yes, Penelope, I do."

François Lemaire: "Remember, Penelope, you must go and get changed as soon as we've leveled out."

Lady Penelope: "Don't worry, François, we shan't let you down."

François Lemaire: "Ooh! How about the music? Is it going to be all right?"

Deirdre: "Mason, the steward is taking care of that. He's new to the airline, but I've explained how the cues will go."

Narrator: "As Skythrust began it's journey, Tin-Tin and I were nearing London airport."

Brains: "The Skythrust should have left Paris by now, Tin-Tin."

Tin-Tin: "Oh, I'm so looking forward to hearing about the dress show."

Brains: "Well, we'll just go up to the control tower to pay our respects, and then we'll go down to the runway and meet the plane."

Tin-Tin: "Aren't you excited, Brains? I mean, Mr Hackenbacker?"

François Lemaire: "This is called Autumn Crocus."

François Lemaire: "You will observe the swirling pleats and the slim-shaped bodies. The skirt flares slightly at the end. The entire ensemble, like everything else in the collection, is made of Penelon."

First Fashion Buyer: "Say, this Penelon is a sensation! It's the biggest thing in fabric development since the cotton mill."

François Lemaire: "And now finally, Mesdames et Messieurs, may I present to you the Penelon bridal dress."

Co-Pilot: "This is Skythrust calling London control."

Lieutenant Burroughs: "Loud and clear, Skythrust, go ahead."

Co-Pilot: "Proceeding now to London. ETA 15 minutes."

Lieutenant Burroughs: "London control to Skythrust, we have you on our radar. Provisional runway allocation number: 39."

Co-Pilot: "Thank you, London."

Madeline: "Leave those controls just where they are."

Captain Ashton: "Hey, what is this?"

Madeline: "Don't do anything stupid. I know how to use this."

Captain Ashton: "Do as she says. She means it."

Madeline: "The plans are changed. We are not going to London."

Captain Ashton: "What's this supposed to be?"

Madeline: "Your new destination."

Captain Ashton: "But it's in the middle of the Sahara. Miles from anywhere."

Madeline: "Precisely. There'll be no-one around to disturb us. Now, set a course, we haven't got time to waste."

François Lemaire: "You idiot! This is an outrage!"

Mason: "When I want your opinion I'll ask for it. Right, you! Get all those dresses boxed up again!"

François Lemaire: "Boxed up again? What do you mean?"

Lady Penelope: "He means, François, that he is going to steal the entire collection."

François Lemaire: "What?"

Mason: "Exactly. This Penelon stuff is too good a haul to lose."

Narrator: "But they hadn't reckoned on the cunning of Lady Penelope."

Scott Tracy: "Look, father."

Jeff Tracy: "It's Penelope, she's in trouble. I thought it was a little too peaceful around here."

Virgil Tracy: "What are we waiting for?"

Jeff Tracy: "Right, Scott. Away you go. You too, Virgil."

Virgil Tracy: "Yes, sir."

Narrator: "With only the bleep of Penelope's emergency signal as a guide, the blasted off. Not knowing where they were going. Or what they were acquired to do. Penelope hadn't been able to talk as Mason was watching them too closely. She could only hope that her signal would be heard by International Rescue and that they would be able to get a direction baring from that."

Jeff Tracy: "Right, I'm going to contact Brains in London to see if he has idea what's gone wrong. Give me a bearing on Penelope's signal as soon as you can."

Virgil Tracy: "Understood, father."

François Lemaire: "Where are they taking us?"

Lady Penelope: "Be patient, François, help is on its way."

Scott Tracy: "I have a bearing on Skythrust, father."

Jeff Tracy: "Great."

Scott Tracy: "Zero, forty degrees, eighteen minutes."

Jeff Tracy: "Forty degrees, eighteen minutes. Looks like they're heading for the Sahara. Why hijack a plane and take it there?"

Narrator: "Madeline had planned well. She knew when Skythrust reached the sahara, two more crooks would be there to meet them at a disused airfield."

Ross: "Look at it. Sand, sand, nothing but sand."

Collins: "Stop griping, Ross and get on that radio."

Ross: "Calling Skythrust, can you read me? Calling Skythrust, come in, please. There's no answer."

Collins: "That thing's got a limited range, remember? They'll be here."

Scott Tracy: "This is International Rescue calling Skythrust."

Co-Pilot: "International Rescue?"

Madeline: "Don't answer that call."

Scott Tracy: "This is International Rescue calling Skythrust, come in, please."

Captain Ashton: "We'd better answer, those boys never give up, you know."

Madeline: "All right, but watch what you say."

Captain Ashton: "Loud and clear, International Rescue."

Scott Tracy: "Request you return to London, Skythrust."

Madeline: "Tell him no."

Captain Ashton: "I'm sorry, we can't do that."

Scott Tracy: "I must insist you do."

Madeline: "Here, give me that. And if we don't, what then?"

Scott Tracy: "I'm afraid we'll have to take action to force you to."

Madeline: "Who are you trying to kid? Your job is to save lives, not to risk them. Just leave us alone."

Jeff Tracy: "Come in, Scott."

Scott Tracy: "I've spoken to Skythrust, father. But they're not gonna give in without a fight!"

Jeff Tracy: "Well, I have a feeling we can bluff them for a bit. Brains has an idea. He's telling Virgil about it now."

Brains: "I want you to load up a low velocity, non-explosive missile, and take a pot shot at Skythrust's undercart."

Virgil Tracy: "Sounds pretty risky, Brains."

Brains: "Now, now don't worry, Virgil. It'll be all right. Just trust Mr Hackenbacker."

Virgil Tracy: "OK, then, Hiram."

Co-Pilot: "Look, a Thunderbird. Wow!"

Madeline: "Trying to scare us, eh?"

Virgil Tracy: "Real close, this time, Alan."

Alan Tracy: "F.A.B."

Madeline: "I've had enough of their little games. Now hear this, you crazy fools. I've got Ashton and the co-pilot right here beside me. If you're still in sight 30 seconds from now, Ashton gets a bullet through the brain."

François Lemaire: "Did you see the Thunderbird, Penelope?"

Lady Penelope: "Yes, that's got them worried."

Mason: "Don't build up your hopes, friend. Looks like the mighty International Rescue are giving up."

Virgil Tracy: "Well. It seems we'll have to use Brains' idea, Alan."

Alan Tracy: "Right, let's get back after them."

Virgil Tracy: "I'll keep in the blind spot below their tail."

Alan Tracy: "Closing."

Virgil Tracy: "Fire as soon as you can."

Alan Tracy: "Steady. Steady. One thousand. Eight hundred. Six hundred. Four hundred. Two hundred.... Missile away!"

Madeline: "What was that?"

Captain Ashton: "I don't know. We'd better check it out."

Co-Pilot: "The wheel housing is locked. It's no good, it won't free itself."

Madeline: "What sort of trick is this?"

Co-Pilot: "It's no trick."

Captain Ashton: "And it means we can't land in the Sahara. Not with an undercart malfunction."

Madeline: "Don't try and blind me with science."

Captain Ashton: "All right, get Mason in here. You say he knows about these things."

Madeline: "I think I'll do just that."

Co-Pilot: "I hope you know what you're doing. We may not fool Mason. He could know about the Hackenbacker device."

Captain Ashton: "It's a pretty well kept secret. I'm betting he doesn't know."

Mason: "What's this about not being able to land in the desert?"

Captain Ashton: "That's right, Mason. How much do you know about Skythrust?"

Mason: "Enough."

Captain Ashton: "Take a look at this then."

Mason: "All right, all right. So there's a fault in the undercart."

Captain Ashton: "Exactly. Now, if you can tell me how to land this aircraft on a desert airstrip, miles from anywhere, without wheels, you'd better tell me now."

Co-Pilot: "Four minutes to rendezvous."

Captain Ashton: "We'll have to turn back."

Mason: "If we do, who says we can land at London?"

Captain Ashton: "At London they're fully equipped for emergency landings. At least we'll have a chance."

Madeline: "What is going on?"

Mason: "All right, head for London."

Madeline: "Now, wait a minute."

Mason: "Shut up! I've seen a plane go up, and I don't want to be in this one when it does."

Virgil Tracy: "They're turning back. Tell father."

Alan Tracy: "Right."

Tin-Tin: "I'm worried, Brains. All those fire trucks."

Brains: "Well, they won't need those."

Tin-Tin: "I don't understand. What is so special about Skythrust?"

Brains: "Just wait and see, Tin-Tin. Wait and see."

Co-Pilot: "Seventeen miles to touch down."

Captain Ashton: "Reduce power."

Co-Pilot: "Reducing power."

Mason: "How much fuel left?"

Captain Ashton: "Just under half."

Mason: "Nearly half?! Well can't we jettison some?"

Madeline: "Pull yourself together, Mason."

Captain Ashton: "Take her down to one thousand feet."

Co-Pilot: "Reducing altitude."

Madeline: "Look, about the fuel."

Captain Ashton: "What about it?"

Madeline: "Can't we ditch some overboard, like Mason said?"

Captain Ashton: "I'm sorry, it can't be done. If you two are so worried, why don't you get back in the rear. It's the safest place."

Mason: "Yeah, why don't we do that?"

Co-Pilot: "Well, they say the proof of the pudding's in the eating. Here goes."

Captain Ashton: "Well, Mr Hackenbacker, we're in your hands now."

Narrator: "This was what I had been waiting for."

Commander Norman: "Here she comes."

Narrator: "The giant form of Skythrust came soaring in and touched down in a shower of sparks and smoke. Then, suddenly, 2 jets housed in the tail-plane assembly burst into life. And the whole end section which contained the fuel tanks roared into the air."

Commander Norman: "There she goes. Take it up to 40,000 feet on 3-2-0. Stand by.... Detonate!"

Narrator: "There was the terrible screech of tortured metal against stone as the momentum carried the rest of Skythrust forward sending a shower of everywhere as pieces broke off. But by now, the real danger was over. and she slowly came to a halt without catching fire and without serious injury to anyone on board."

Commander Norman: "Five thousand gallons. You've got to hand it to Hackenbacker. His ejectable fuel pod to eliminate fire hazard really works. It will revolutionize flying safety."

François Lemaire: "Are you all right, Penelope?"

Lady Penelope: "Fine. It was no worse than one or two conventional landings I've experienced."

François Lemaire: "Look at that."

Lady Penelope: "Well, well, well. The two brave hijackers. Don't get up. You can just lie still and wait for the police."

François Lemaire: "What about their accomplices, Penelope?"

Lady Penelope: "I'm sure they'll be well taken care of, François."

Narrator: "I sure am pleased the my design worked. I must confess that those last few minutes seemed like hours until i saw that fuel explode. I dread to think what might have happened if a fault had developed. Well, Penelope is now enjoying a nice quiet holiday after the excitement of the crash and the fashion preview. The crooks too are having a holiday at the expense of the French government. So I think I'll just settle back here on the island and have me a holiday too. So long for now."

THE END

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